Future Of Parenting

The problem with air conditioned playhouses

Back in the day when we were trying to decide what kind of swings to install in the back yard for our toddlers, the Wall Street Journal ran a story about over-the-top playgrounds.

“Children soar on a yellow-domed swing set called the ‘Atom Splitter,’ their shrieks mingling with those of the seagulls,” the story began. “A merry-go-round shaped like a giant ladybug spins in a sandy enclosure near ‘Tarzan’s Place,’ a jungle-like structure with 20-foot ropes.

“Is this a new theme park? No, it’s 11-year-old Wyatt Koch’s backyard.”

And then, one of my favorite, parents-say-the-dumbest-things quotes of all time: “‘I wanted to attract other kids so my son could learn to socialize,’ says Bill Koch, the former America’s Cup skipper and owner of a Florida energy business, who spent roughly $250,000 on the attractions when Wyatt was 2.”

Sigh. It seems to have worked out well for Wyatt — Google shows him attending opera openings and charity balls — but might I suggest that the best way to teach your child to socialize is not positioning him as Richie Rich with his own private sports camp?

Our run-of-the-mill swingset is forlorn and, truth be told, kind of moldy in the back yard these days, but I was reminded of that story by an even more disturbing piece in the New York Times , this one about over-the-top playhouses.

How over the top? They come with features such as vaulted ceilings, faux fireplaces, sponge-painted walls and, of course, central air. They can cost as much as actual houses, if not more. For $52,000, you can have “Red Beard’s Revenge a playhouse in the shape of a 12-foot-tall, 18-foot-long pirate ship, complete with a crow’s nest, upper and lower decks made of mahogany and leather benches in the captain’s quarters that double as beds.”

Dan Burnham, the former chairman of defense contractor Raytheon, anted up $248,000 for a two-structure installation, complete with extension bridge and hand-carved beams, designed to lure the grandkids to his vacation compound. “It’s adorable and worth every penny,” he said, with no evident sheepishness about the extravagant cost.

There are two intertwined problems with the mind-set exposed by this story. The first is the disconnect between the faltering economy and the spare-no-expense attitude of the luxury playhouse crowd. It was one thing to install mini-amusement parks in the back yard during the boom years of the late 1990s. Then it was gross. Now it’s grosser. The conspicuousness of the consumption rises exponentially with the unemployment rate. When people are losing real houses, you ought to feel a little queasy about spending thousands on play ones. When so many real houses are underwater, the $52,000 price tag for the pirate ship playhouse seems especially egregious.

PRESENT, PAST, AND FUTURE and YOUR TEEN - Parenting with All the ...

Sometimes I forget that teens don't have the frame of reference that we do.  A major advantage of being a parent is that we can remember the past and how past events and present events can affect the future.  Our teens have difficulties with seeing this because they don't always understand the connections of events.

So how do we help with that?  I think that recounting memories can be extremely helpful.  Helping your teen remember memories from childhood begins to build a bridge to present events.  Discussing present events and future consequences of those events is instrumental in giving your teen a frame of reference.  One way to do this is to take the discussion outside of your teen and family and discuss something from history.  This is less threatening to your teen and does not personalize the discussion so much. 

Remember that discussions you have with your teen are similar to putting money in the bank.  Everytime you have a discussion about one of these topics, you are "saving" information for your teen to think about at some point in the future.

Dr.

Myles textbook for midwives

Family studies, an introduction

Studies in the assessment of parenting

Families, Labour and Love

Future orientation, developmental and ecological perspectives